I just used my tampon to get out of a speeding ticket - because no one was around when I was a horny prostitute and now I'm out of toilet paper! Ah well, goodbye socks! I think I'm in love with not wearing underwear, which is good 'cause I just found out it was 2 good 2 be true - I'm pregnant. Things are looking up though, I just found out I've been cheated on for the past 5 months with my ex of fifteen years - no matter, I'm sick of hiding it - I'm gay for this $7000 scratchy I just won!
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